Ever wonder what your purpose in this life is?If you don't then kudos to you, because everyday, and every moment of everyday I wonder. Oh, I used to feel that I had purpose, last year for 2 months(before my infant son passed away in my arms), and in early 2001, in the days before 9-11(thriving net business, money to help other people).I only deserve what other people seem to have; love,a family, a home and all that bs. I know those things have to be worked for and I think I may have the love part taken care of, the other 2 well now thats a diffrent colored hamster all together.I don't know how many of you belive that another person can use the forces of nature itself to harm another but I do and I know that someone is, even if I don't choose to belive that she can my psychic side knows she is. The whole story behind her anger and jelousy and her desire to hurt me is because I wouldn't let her go to the county fair with a boy that I had been told several very frightning fibs about and she refused to let me speak to either him or his parents. So now she feels I would make a very bad parent and she is stopping at nothing the keep that a reality. This from a 3x abortionist and someone who grew up surving on pinto beans when her birth mother was out boozing and I was driving all over at 2am to find the cop that called me to come and get her and her sister because their mom was just picked up for DND,DWI,IPD,PD and an alphabet soup I can't even recall now. And she targets me?Did I waste 4 years of my life to help this child? To needlessly give to her after her father, my beloved brother, died from cancer. No, I dont think I did, because somewhere deep inside her now alcohol and drug infested mind there are good and happy memories that will always be there. I pray everyday that she gets better, that the wonderful loving person I knew and enjoyed having around in my life will come back. Maybe she will read this, or maybe someone who knows her will and they will give her a copy and she will know that I loved her like she was my own and that I was only doing what a responsible, loving caregiver would do. How I wanted to die when I couldnt find her and I prayed with all my heart and soul that she wouldnt be found dead.NINA ROSE LEWIS/HUMMEL wherever you are please come back. Your future was so promising and now you have become a Metallica song. PLease just move on if you are still so angry that you have to hurt. I tears me up to know you are in so much pain. So much that you need to hurt others to try to feel better. Let 2001 go. Let me and yourself move on. Clean up and find happiness if not for anyone else do it for your father, make him proud.